If I only had a brain…

If I only had a brain…

While sailing out of Singapore a strange thing happened.  A few of us both staff and students were standing on the back deck watching as Singapore quickly faded away in the distance.  But like really quickly, like much much more quickly then the 7 or so ports before it.  While a few of us discussed this, we noticed something else weird going on below us.  While the set up of the ship is hard to describe, just imagine that we are standing on a deck on the back of the ship, looking down onto a deck below us that is for crew members only.   So heres what we saw, and here was the conversation the followed.  We saw what can only be described as a Guantanamo Bay-esque Prisoner torture situation.  We saw two crew members dragging along what we believed to be a person wearing an orange jumpsuit, one holding this person up, while the other was tying their wrists to the banister over the edge of the ship.  For obvious reasons, this drew our attention… A student looked over at me and asked “Uhh, whats going on down there”, and well, being the smart ass that I am, and without having any clue what was actually going on I responded “ Since we are still in Singapore waters, we have to, according to local law, publically cane any student who were late getting back to the ship, rather than giving out DockTime” (Docktime is the standard, and far less corporal punishment given when students are late for the time they are due back on the ship.  For every 15 minutes late, they must stay on this ship for 2 hours at the next port etc…).  This student literally spit out the water she had just sipped when I told her that.  As it turns out, what was actually going on below us was even more ridiculous than the idea of crewmembers caneing Semester at Sea Students. 

            As we pulled away from Singapore, we were heading through the most pirate infested waters on earth.  Not in the Caribbean you ask sarcastically? nope, its not 1823.  Not in Somalia? Nope, We’ve seen captain Phillips also, Somali pirates are so 2007.  Currently the most pirated waters on earth are in the Straight of Malaaca.  Why didn’t we avoid these waters in the first place you ask? Don’t worry, the captain had a plan, and that’s what was goin on  below us.  A ScarePirate.  That’s right, a Mother F^&king scare pirate.  A 92 million dollar vessel we are on, and their defense against pirates? An orange crew jumpsuit stuffed with linens, the hood pulled over a  fake head, binoculars glued to a fake face, and a blond wig.  Oh, and don’t worry, 4 hoses, one tied to each corner of the ship. (See pictures below).  I’ve thought through in my head how these items would defend us against Backbeard, or the main guy who won an academy award for Captain Phillips, and well, I’m just happy we were moving fast, really really fast.