Permission to come Aboard

Permission to come Aboard

    Embarkation day was pretty unspectacular.  After boarding the ship in San Diego with all Staff and Faculty, we sailed down to beautiful Ensenda Mexico to pick up the college students who were bussed down from San Diego (about 50 miles).   While in beautiful Ensenada Mexico I learned 2 very valuable lessons: 1. No one should ever refer to beautiful Ensenada Mexico as beautiful,  its not, so ill stop now.  2nd: It’s actually legal for a restaurant to refuse to accept their own local currency and take “only dollares”.  They said NO TO PESOS!  Why did we pick up the kids Ensenada you ask? Like the origins of the word Hoosier, many stories persist, though none truly to my liking or verified as fact.  I’ve heard stories ranging from evading a hefty U.S. embarkation tax to embarking in a foreign port to allow the ship to avoid reporting any on board illness to the U.S. Center for Disease Control.  I’m hoping for the former.  Regardless, one day in Ensenada was plenty.  While the 600+ students were sitting at the boarder for nearly 3 hours, the faculty and staff were able to hop off the ship and explore the town.  I had been to Ensenada on a cruise about 10 years ago. At the time there was nearly no tourist infrastructure, simply a boarder town on the water, allowing cruise lines to evade a hefty U.S. embarkation tax or avoid reporting any onboard illness to the U.S. Center for Disease Control, whichever story you choose to believe.  Never before has the old saying about putting lipstick on a pig been more true.  Ensenada now has a cute touristy strip, a down town, and even a shuttle from the cruise terminal to the “main shopping area”.  Well, the shuttle broke down while we were on it, the tourist area had more vacancies then operating businesses, and the down town was over run by children selling ‘chikle’ and women selling those damn bobbing head frogs things. The absolute icing on the cake, or well, guacamole on the taco was when they refused a friend's attempt at communication in Spanish, and actually rejected her payment in pesos, saying the only accepted U.S. ‘Dollares’.  You really shouldn't put lipstick on a pig.  

Immediately after boarding the ship, each student went through a rigorous checking in process.  They would hand over their passport to the purser, get their cabin assignments, pick up class materials, turn in their medication, and lastly meet the medical team (including Gabby) face to face.  The medical team, being the caring group that they are had three bins set up at their booth.  Bin 1: cookies, who says no to cookies.  Bin 2: condoms, some students shamefully grabbed a bunch, some politely declined the offer, and some sheepishly took one, so as to avoid acting rude.  Bin 3: Sea sickness pills.  Because I was not part of the checking in process, I hung out with the medical team for a large part of the day.  I sat there, didn't introduce myself to any of the students, but secretly judged the number of cookies and condoms each student took.  What amazed me was that nearly every student checking in that afternoon had the exact same reaction to the sea sickness pills.  “ Nah, I’m good, I don’t get sea sick, I was on a boat once on the great lakes and I was totally fine ”. The medical team, God bless there hearts tried to insist early on, asking questions like, “are you sure, have you ever crossed the pacific on a ship designed to casually sail between Greek Islands? or things like, ‘better safe then sorry’… I’m pretty sure the sheer amount of rejection 4.5 hours into what was supposed to a be 2 hour process really got to the team, and by the end of the day they were thinking, ‘ok little bastards, I told you so, clean up your own damn vomit”.  Spoiler alert the students needed the sea sickness medication, and the needed way sooner then any of them had expected.  

 Because the students were held up at the boarded for nearly three hours longer than expected, the sunset sail away went by the wayside as well.  In lieu of  a dramatic, symbolic, emotional sunlit send off, we were treated with a P.A. announcement while sitting in the pitch black port of Ensenada that went something like this: “ Good evening Voyagers.  Welcome aboard.   As you can see, we have cast off”!  How about a little Mother F^%&ing heads up! This is supposed to be the symbolic moment when students and staff alike literally let go of their lives at home and embarking on the journey of a lifetime.  There’s supposed to be cheers, tears, and GoPro footage from every angle imaginable (side note, I'm pretty sure GoPro's out number humans on this vessel 2:1, it doesn't make sense, I know) .  All sappiness aside, this is supposed to be the quintessential marketing moment for Semester at Sea.  Something tells me we are going to be asked to awkwardly recreate this “emotional moment” while leaving a port in the near future.  “As you can see, we have cast off”, come on!   

And on the third day, God said let there be seas, and oh yes, there were seas. Stay tuned...

and now a motivational boat/travel quote sponsored by your favorite psychologist and mine: Gabrielle Gotta

#Twinning

#Twinning

After boarding the MV Explorer, Gabby and I eagerly made our way to our brand new cabin.  4067.  Although at the time this number meant nothing to us, it would soon be our only address for the next 4+ months.  Where do we live? 4067.  Whats our phone number? 4067.  Where can we find you if we need you? 4067.  Should I change my billing address simply to '4067', should I have my mail forwarded here, I mean, where else do I actually live?  We nervously approached our cabin, wondering just how small this space could be.  Me, being myself, meticulously inspected any image of the cabins I could find on the SaS website, on google image, on youtube, you name it, i saw it.  Somehow in my head, I had manifested one of the largest cabins on board.  One with a sitting area, a queen sized feather bed, and closet space to spare.  Then, we opened the door.  4067. cozy,  lets say very cozy.  Instead of the seating area I imagined, we had a small chair placed haphazardly next to a tiny glass table.  The closet was, well, limited. Lastly, in place of that queen-sized feather bed, you guessed it, 2 twin beds separated by nightstands permanently attached the floor (or so we thought at the time).   2 twin beds, this could be interesting...  We had our first meeting about 10 minutes after boarding, so we dropped our 4 carry ons, and forgot about the 2 twin beds.  After a long day of orientation, we returned to our cabin exhausted and ready to go to sleep.  oh, yah, twin beds. and so, this newly wed couple wished each other good night each snuggly tucked into  their own twin bed.

Ship Happens!!!

Ship Happens! 

It's crazy to think that just 4 days ago we were closing the lock on our second storage unit (yes, we had to purchase a second storage unit, we have a lot of stuff), it was 7 degrees outside, and I was confident that we had packed every single thing we could possible need for this 4 month voyage.  Funny how quickly things can change.  

I'll start with where I am now:  I'm currently sitting on the 5th deck, staring at the wake behind the ship, the long tail it has left behind, and nothing else.  Like really nothing else.  We left Ensenada Mexico last night and are heading towards Hawaii now.  Were 250 miles from shore, and well, 1,945 from Hawaii, so really, there is nothing else out there.  Sitting right behind me are hoards, and i mean hoards of college kids.  They’re playing some sort of pop music I have never heard before, the pool is right above us, the all you can eat buffet just through the automatic sliding doors, and our cabin two decks down.

Now for the good stuff, how we got here:
 I suppose this adventure really started when we stood in front of our now former apartment building, in the snow with a MOUNTAIN of luggage on a cart.  We hailed a cab, that hesitantly approached us, asked if our luggage would fit, and after being waved in by the cabby, continued to pack his cab to the brim with bags.  Our two duffle bags (yes, they are matching, i know, ok) fit in the trunk, our 2 camping backpacks snuggly in the front seat, and Gabby and I jammed, along with our four carry ons, precariously in the back.  We made it to the airport in great time, dragged all of our luggage inside, and stared down the first of our many luggage obstacles for the next couple of days.   The checked luggage counter...  To be fair, I assumed our luggage would be over weight.  These bags were big, like really really big, but we assumed we could pull out a heavy coat, maybe tie something onto my backpack, but assumed over weight nonetheless.  As gabby and i nervously approach the gate agent, i nudge her and whispered "ham it up, maybe she wont look down at the scale".  Needless to say, she looked down at the scale.  What she saw, changed her in some small way.  Not only were our bags both over the 50-pound weight limit, but they were each over the next threshold level of weight limit at well.  "I've never seen thatbefore" she murmured in a judgy way.    Weighing in at 74.8 pounds, and 71.3, our bags would have cost damn near as much as our African Safari to check.  We shuffled some things around, with a little creativity, and I'd like to think a bit of charm, we got those bags back into the first morbidly obese bag category. With four bags checked, and four now hung over our bodies, we made our way to security.   As some of you may know, I was a bit apprehensive about going through security.   Those of you scared to death of infidels infiltrating our great nation via TSA ignorance might want to skip this part of the story.  to briefly review, here is a small sample of the current contents of my bag:  22 power cords, 3 tablets, 1 laptop, 1 electronic shaver, 2 pairs of nail clippers, over $100 in 12 DIFFERENT foreign currencies, over $2,000 in USD, 500 of which were oddly in $1 bills, a four month supply of Xanex, a 4 month supply of Ambien, 6 sets of headphones, and 2 (yes 2) US Passports.  My bag passed through security with nary a TSA agent batting an eye, Gabby's cheery pink carry on however was flagged, opened, emptied, searched, and tested for bomb making materials... because of three eggs of silly putty she was bringing with her.  We're all doomed, I swear.  


        We made it through security, boarded the plane, waited over an hour for our plane to De-ice This is not supposed to be a jab at anyone out there experiencing winter, but I cant tell you how distant the thought of De-icing is right now. I'm currently sitting outside in shorts and flip-flops.  We landed safely in San Diego a little behind schedule, and had a really nice dinner with my cousins, and their 1-year-old Trey who I met for the first time.  After getting our last solid night sleep on dry land (pun intended) for 19 days (NINETEEN DAYS!!!), we called the bell hop to help us transport our outrageous amount of luggage downstairs, checked out, and got an early start to embarkation day.  We had planned to go to Costco before we left, but i don't think either of us had expected to not only purchase a new checked luggage size suitcase at Costco, but also completely fill it to capacity with snacks, sunscreen, and every single drug one can legally purchase in the United States.  So many medications in fact that as we were checking out, the cashier looked at me, stared into my soul and said "not feeling well huh? This should do the trick".  This should do the trick???? If the amount of medicine we were purchasing 'should do the trick', this lady should stop scanning the 11th box of Dayquil and get the CDC on the phone.  Anyone, in any other situation purchasing this many drugs in bulk is clearly either dying from Ebola, or setting themselves up nicely for a starring role in the Discovery channel show 'Dooms Day Preppers'.  After leaving Costco drug/snack/goldfish suitcase in tow, we thought we were ready to board, but wanted to stop by CVS to purchase "just a couple last minute things".   Needless to say, just a couple last minute things, turned out to be the strangest concoctions of things ever purchased at a CVS in San Diego. Finally, we were ready to head to the MV Explorer, our home for the next 4 months.

Ship happens...

As we pulled up to the dock where the ship was berthed, my heart was literally jumping out of my chest.  I was in an incredible mood, i thought nothing could stain this moment as we were about to embark, nothing except the next 41 words uttered to me.  They were as follows:  Leave your car here, take your luggage down this way, then turn left, then around the next corner, then up three levels, back down one level, through security and onto the ship, then someone will help you with your bags...  If your still reading, I assume you read the section above.  If not, ill summarize for you here.  We have WAY to much luggage to "Leave your car here, take your luggage down this way, then turn left, then around the next corner, then up three levels, back down one level, through security and onto the ship, then someone will help you with your bags...".  We were doomed, but with a little help from some fellow staff members, and some Judgy looks from one particular light packer, we got onto the ship.  We'll see how judgy Light Packer is when she runs out of socks and underwear in a week.  F%$# you Judgy Light Packer. 

The feeling of finally being on board was truly indescribable, though obviously, I’m going to try and describe it to you here, cause, well, indescribable things don't really translate to Blog.

The only way I can describe the feeling was this: Imagine you are clinically obsessed with a celebrity, lets say Jenn with two 'n's from the real world road rules challenge (I know, like soooooooooooo famous).  Jenn with two 'n's from the real world road rules challenge is all you've thought about for nearly a year, Jenn is almost all your willing to talk to others about, and most importantly you have watched every YouTube video filmed by even the grittiest flip phone cameras of Jenn with two 'n's from the real world road rules challenge, you feel like she’s part of your life,a friend, and that in some sick way, like you already know her, and now, standing in front of you is Jenn with two 'n's from the real world road rules challenge, just waiting for you to board her.  Ok, that last part went a little too far. I truly felt like i knew this ship, i knew the hallways and lounges.  I had seen it so many times on my 13 in macbook, but now, to see it in living color truly was unreal.

Ship Happened, here we go.




Just a little bit of housekeeping:  Internet on the ship is pretty much non existent, so, I will post when i can, and likely add pictures when we are in port and have real, 21st century Wifi